The Innoying Interview Show
by supercomputer276
Summary: Co-inciding with the Game Over series, Yosie interviews several Mario characters on the Mushroom Bowl stage in a series of short stories. Some of my oldest writing, so it can be pretty crude and idiotic. Hope you all enjoy!
1. SUPERCOMPUTER276 interviews DOOPLISS

**SUPERCOMPUTER276 interviews DOOPLISS**

Announcer: LIVE from the Mushroom Bowl in Mt. Majesty, it's In-noying Interviews, starring your fiend and my fiend...

Boris Badenov: Boris Badenov!

Announcer: Uh, no. Your fiend and my fiend... supercomputer276!

(supercomputer276 walks out onto the stage.)

sc276: The SuperComputer276 is reporting in!

(Crowd cheers.)

sc276: And tonight, we have one of my favorite Mario characters...

Audience: NO YOSH-I! NO YOSH-I!

sc276: Shut it! May I present... Doopliss!

(Doopliss comes in, and both he and sc276 sit.)

Doopliss: Great to be here.

sc276: Well, Doopliss, would you mind telling us where you used to live?

Doopliss: Not at all. I used to live in the bell tower in the Creepy Steeple.

sc276: "Used?" What do you mean by "used"?

Doopliss: Slick drove me out and stopped my curse on the nearby village.

sc276: By Slick you mean Mario, right?

Doopliss: Quite so.

sc276: Several people want to know this. Why did you curse Twilight Town?

Doopliss: Well, not much grows in the forest, so I cursed the town into pigs so I'd have a supply of free pork.

sc276: Interesting.

(666 comes in.)

666: I've got a question.

sc276: Go ahead.

666: You work for the Shadow Sirens, right?

Doopliss: Yeah, I do. My involvement in the Game Over is part-time because my boss likes me. I spend most of my time with Beldam and Marilyn.

666: How's it pay?

Doopliss: Not well, but at least I can buy food.

sc276: Well, it appears I'm out of questions. As it is an interview tradition, we still need audience questions. 666!

666: Yeah?

sc276: Get the slot machine.

(666 disappears.)

sc276: You see, each of the audience members is in a stadium seating. There are three numbers to each seat: section, row, and seat. We spin the slots, and the numbers pick the seat that gets to ask the question.

Doopliss: You've gotta be kidding. Only Lugwig would come up with stuff like this and it blows up.

(666 pushes a huge slot machine onstage. It has a lever and three dials.)

sc276: Really? Thanks, 666.

666: Pant...no prob, boss... wheeze...

sc276: Well, let's pick our first question. (He pulls the the lever, and after spinning for a bit, the dials read 36 21 33.)

666: Section 36, row 21, seat 33.

Duplighost: Why do you work for the Shadow Sirens?

Doopliss: They wanted revenge on Slick and happened to have a free space. I wasn't really liking him myself after he derailed my plans with his body.

Duplighost: Which was...?

Doopliss: To buy myself an all-you-can-eat buffet.

sc276: Next question. (He starts the slot machine up again and gets 25 02 36.)

sc276: Section 25, row 2, seat 36.

Luigi: Any particular reason you stole my brother's body?

Doopliss: Hey, I spend most of my time alone in that bell tower. I didn't know he was famous or anything until I entered town with his body. When I was practically stampeded, I decided I liked being him. Plus, he had a big belly.

Mario: Hey!

(sc276 spins the machine again. This time, the result is 39 21 25.)

666: Section 39, row 21, seat 25.

Koopa Troopa: Could you please demostrate your transforming abilities?

Doopliss: Sure, but who do I transform into?

sc276: Let the slots decide!

(It comes up 27 08 34.)

sc276: Section 27, row 8, seat 34, come on down! Or up. Whatever.

(Vivian climbs onto the stage.)

Doopliss: What are you doing here?

Vivian: What are YOU doing here?

Doopliss: I being interviewed here!

sc276: Shut it, both of you! Doopliss, if you will...

(In a puff of purple smoke, Doopliss transforms into Vivian.)

Waluigi: Wah! I'm scared of Shadow Sirens!

666: SECURUTY! Get Vivian, Luigi, and Waluigi out!

Luigi: Why me?

sc276: 'Cause you exist.

(Koopatrols take the already mentioned three out.)

sc276: Now Doopliss, if you resume your normal form...

Doopliss: I'm not Doopliss, I'm Vivian.

sc276: WHAT?!

Doopliss: Kidding!

(Doopliss turns back into himself.)

sc276: Oh, phew, for a minute there, I thought the Koopatrols carried out my interviewee.

666: Can I spin the machine now?

sc276: Sure, go ahead.

(666 spins the slots and gets 36 18 34.)

666: Section 36, row 18, seat 34.

Daisy: Why are you wearing party attire?

Doopliss: You mean my hat and tie? It distinguishes me from other Duplighosts.

sc276: Last spin!

(It comes up 07 17 01.)

666: Section 7, row 17, seat 1.

(Silence.)

sc276: Why's that seat empty?

666: Boss, that was Waluigi's seat.

sc276: Oh, yeah... Anyways, that's the end of the In-noying Interviews for now. Goodnight, Pilt! End transmission.


	2. SUPERCOMPUTER276 interviews EBJ

**SUPERCOMPUTER276 interviews EVIL BLACK JEWEL**

sc276: 666, make a note. I've decided to not interview any more of my officers in the future, especially after what happened last time. That was a complete mess!

666: All right. Better get ready, you're on in five.

Announcer: LIVE from the Mushroom Bowl in Mt. Majesty, it's the In-noying Interviews, staring the biggest of all baddies, supercomputer276!

(supercomputer276 comes in.)

sc276: The SuperComputer276 is reporting in!

(Crowd cheers as sc276 sits down.)

sc276: You know, the announcer says I'm the biggest baddie, but that simply isn't true.

(Audience starts murmuring.)

sc276: Shut it! Bring in the chest!

(A Chargin' Chuck wheels in a treasure chest and leaves.)

sc276: The reason I say I'm not the biggest is the fact our interviewee himself is huge! Ladies and gentlemen, may I present... the final boss of _Wario World_... the one... the thankfully only... EVIL... BLACK... JEWEL!

(The chest explodes in a shower of light to reveal the jewel, henceforth referred to as EBJ)

EBJ: Well, well, well, where am I now?

sc276: You mustn't have been listening in there. You're on the In-noying Interview show with me, supercomputer276.

EBJ: Actually, I think I'll turn your money into monsters.

sc276: Also actually, there's no real stuff to transform. My wand is the most powerful in the world _and_ I've played _Wario World_. I can return any abuse you give the Game Over tenfold.

EBJ: You have no proof.

(sc276 stands up.)

sc276: You wanna find out the hard way?

EBJ: Bring it on!

sc276: I warned you. Now face the wrath of the Super Computer!

(sc276 pulls out the G. O. Wand as EBJ starts sending out waves of fire. Several blasts of magic knock out EBJ, who sc276 proceeds to pick up and Piledrive.)

EBJ: OK! Uncle, uncle!

sc276: I knew you'll see it my way. Now sit down or get another Mad Move.

(They both take their seats.)

Dry Bones (in audience): I'd knew there'd be trouble.

sc276: Shut it!

(sc276 zaps Dry Bones with his wand, turning it to dust. The Dry Bones, that is.)

sc276: Now for questions.

EBJ: I suppose...

sc276: What are your attacks?

EBJ: I trap my opponents by shooting a wall of fire, then I use fireballs or seismic waves.

sc276: I see. Why did you summon those crystallized Spritelings during the battle?

EBJ: Actually, I didn't.

sc276: Huh?

EBJ: Nintendo just did it that way. In truth, the Spritelings came in all by themselves. Nintendo just wanted give Wario a way to knock me out.

sc276: Well, how did Wario knock you out then?

EBJ: He just ran around while he waited for the Spritelings to attack me.

sc276: Next question. Why didn't you transform the unique treasures into monsters?

EBJ: They were too unique to transform.

sc276: Pardon?

EBJ: The treasures had a magic spell on them that kept them in their true form. I was unable to break it.

sc276: Well, that's all my questions. Time for the audience to voice theirs. 666! Bring in the slots!

(666 brings in the slot machine.)

sc276: Now let's spin those slots!

(He pulls the lever and gets 31 07 17.)

sc276: Section 31, row 7, seat 17!

666: Boss, you destroyed the Dry Bones that was there.

sc276: Oh, yeah... Next spin.

(It comes up 29 31 25.)

sc276: Section 29, row 31, seat 25.

Grodus: On an evil scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most evil, how would you rate yourself?

EBJ: Definate 10. Most want to conquer the world. I seek to destroy it.

(Another spin comes up 28 18 14.)

666: Section 28, row 18, seat 14.

Waluigi: There you are! Now revenge will be mine!

(Waluigi runs down the aisle toward the stage.)

sc276: Ladies and germs, please remain seated while I call in the security system.

(He waves the G. O. Wand and spikes shoot up for a second in the aisles. Everyone in a seat and onstage is safe, but Waluigi takes one to the sole and shoots high in the air.)

666: SECURITY!

(Two Koopatrols catch Waluigi and carry him out of the stadium.)

sc276: Well, that's that. He must have been focused so much he forgot to be scared. Let's continue the Interview.

(The next spin of the slots results in 30 12 39.)

sc276: Section 30, row 12, seat 39, give the jewel a question.

Ms. Mowz: How much is that gem worth?

EBJ: It's very valuable. That's why Wario wanted to steal me from the temple.

(The slots give 25 26 40.)

666: Section 25...

sc276: Oh, dear...

666: ...row 26...

sc276: ...Oh, no...

666: ...seat 40.

Morton: WEDDING CAKE!

sc276: SECURITY! Get that Koopaling out and make sure he has a very clean mind wipe!

(The Koopatrols take Morton out as he starts his infamous speech about speeches.)

EBJ: Mind wipe?

sc276: We're in the middle of a secret base here. It's gotta stay secret.

EBJ: Ahh...

(Another spin yields 04 08 33.)

666: Section 4, row 8, seat 33.

Pink Yoshi (from Dark Koopa's interviews): Do you like Yoshis?

(As EBJ answers, sc276 casts a small Barrier Beam around Pink.)

EBJ: No, I believe them to be practically useless.

(Pink gets that icy look.)

Pink: QUEEEEEEEE!

(She charges, but bounces back due to the Barrier Beam.)

sc276: After the Interview, Pink.

Pink: That's what Dark always says!

(The result of the next spin is 04 12 19.)

sc276: Section 4, row 12, seat 19.

Mario wearing L Embelm: I'm-a Luigi!

666: SECURITY!

(The Koopatrols take Mario out.)

sc276: Three times in one Interview. Gotta keep an eye on the security cameras.

(Another spin. This time, it's 34 29 39.)

666: Section 34, row 29, seat 39.

Buzzy Beetle: Why were there no regular Mario enemies in Wario World?

EBJ: I haven't seen any of those, and I preferred to make my own monsters.

Pink: Can I kill him yet?

sc276: Not yet. 666, you have any questions for Multiface here?

EBJ: Excuse me??

sc276: I'm teasin' ya!

666: Yeah, I've got a question. What kind of jewel are you?

EBJ: I'm an amethyst. One really dark amethyst.

sc276: Time for the next roll of the slot machine!

(It returns 35 05 35.)

sc276: Section 35, row 5, seat 35.

King K. (after too many fights, rattling his mind): 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35...

666: Should I get security?

sc276: Nah, he'll blow over.

5 minutes later...

sc276: Finally, he finished! Next spin before he starts again!

Security Koopatrols: Finally, a break!

(It comes out 18 31 13.)

666: Section 18, row 31, seat 13.

Dark Bones: Could I get a job application?

EBJ: No.

sc276: Final spin!

(The result comes up as 06 06 06. The machine starts to glow red and explodes, but sc276 manages to cast a Barrier Beam around it. Only a few embers get through.)

sc276 (to 666): Well, we're safe, and the audience is safe.

666: What about the Evil Black Jewel?

sc276: Well, when I casted the Barrier Beam to stop the explosion, I had to down the one stopping Pink Yoshi from getting on-

(Pink Yoshi gets on the stage and proceeds to attack the jewel.)

sc276: -stage.

Security Koopatrols: Should we?

sc276: Nah, don't really like the guy anyway. Besides, it'll save us a treasure chest.

(A Piledriver from Pink completely destroys the gem.)

sc276: Cool! You want a job?

Pink: Nah, already got one. By the way... do YOU like Yoshis?

sc276: I should say I do.

Pink: You lie!

(Pink gets that icy look, but sc276 creates another Barrier Beam around her.)

sc276: Thanks for coming to the In-noying Interviews! End transmission! As for you, my pink friend, you're coming with m-


End file.
